I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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