Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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