Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
