I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize