I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize