I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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