All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
