Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
