She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Its about making memories worth repressing
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
