we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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