apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize