we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
