Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
