I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She's the barista slut.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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