well you can't waste a boner
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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