After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i dont even know how to be here
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
