If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
