Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
