Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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