Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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