these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
