So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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