She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
