i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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