it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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