end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
