one two three fourrrrnication!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
