so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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