There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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