I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
