I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
