Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
