I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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