I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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