Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
