Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
