i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
