Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my shit smells like andre
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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