New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
