come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
