the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
this will be a night to untag.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
