I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
