Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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