I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
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