i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
