well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I supernannyed him into submission
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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