Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
