Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
