Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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