I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
