We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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