do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
