Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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