his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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