Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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