Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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