he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
