i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
