Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
