p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
